One of those days...

I'm know it isn't just a stepmom-feeling, that feeling of "I don't want to be a parent today", but when I get it, I can't help feeling like I'm being selfish – because me not wanting to be a parent puts all the responsibility on C to get through the day and the craziness that is HAP. But boy, did I have one of those days on Sunday. Of course, the reason I didn't feel like being a parent on Sunday probably had a great deal to do with the fact I hadn't HAD to be parent for a lovely 4 days prior. I had wonderful quality time with my parents. I was a spring-cleaning demon around the house. I had some friends over for a dinner party and cooked the whole meal myself (this is really quite amazing...). My husband arrived home Saturady night and it was SO nice to have him home. Life was good.

Then Sunday happened.

C and I, HAP and HAP's mom and family all go to the same church. (This wasn't my idea - but that is a whole other story from over a year ago, so I'll just let it go.) This past Sunday was to be H's first communion. It's not something that is a super big deal in our church, but it was something C and I were looking forward to all the same. My parents were also coming to the service, and we brought the camera to snap some pictures. The night before, C informed me that HAP's mom was going to be there as well and taking pictures and so on, and that was fine. The kids were scheduled to come home with us after church for the rest of day. So, we get to our church at 9:30 for Sunday school. HAP rushes up to us to say hi and H quickly informs us that she's already HAD her first communion at the EARLY church service. HAP's mom lets me know she'll send me some pictures, and after Sunday school we go home, because we weren't going to have the kids sit though another church service at 11:00. So that sucked.

We also found out that P has just gotten a new iPod Nano, which is what I had just decided would be a nice birthday gift this year. Bummer. P was all excited to get on our computer at home and start loading up his Nano, only to find that my laptop is sorely out of date and wouldn't connect to his Nano. SO then I had to listen to P grumble all day about how old our computer is and when are we getting a new one? ARGH!

It was a rainy and cold on Sunday and we were all cooped up indoors. Any cleaning up I had done in the past few days was immediately undone. A & H got on each other's nerves and fought. It was about this time that I just plunked myself down on the couch and zoned out in front of the TV for the rest of the afternoon. I wanted the peace and quiet of a few days ago. I wanted to to be able to get on MY computer instead of letting the kids use it. I wanted to go out for a coffee on a rainy day and read a book instead of having to watch the girls while C went to his parents house. I pretty much wallowed in self pity for the rest of the day.

After the kids got picked up Sunday night, C and I sat down and talked. I got over it all, and I know that next time will be better and that this was just one of those days. ARGH!